I know. I knowwww. It was a lot of yoga blogs. For what it’s worth, I did give you a heads up that the month of November was going to be dedicated to the NamaStacy Yoga Corporation and I’d be writing about all things yoga-esque so it’s not like it was a surprise or anything!
However… To all those unpolished non-yogis out there, I really do appreciate you sticking it out and not giving up on me! Now that it’s a new month we don’t have to focus solely on yoga; We can focus on NOGA, which unpolishedly means NO YOGA!
Here’s a list of five NOGA related things that’s been happening in my unpolished world:
1. I Found Out Family Feud Is NOT A Family-Friendly Show
Need me to be more specific? Okay, here are just a few of the survey questions that one hundred people were asked:
Q: Name an article of clothing that an experienced playboy can remove with his teeth.
Q: Name a place a politician wouldn’t want to be seen going into.
Q: Name the first letter of your favorite curse word.
If the questions weren’t bad enough (when your kids are sitting right next to you) the contestants’ answers take it to a whole other level:
Q: What happens when you kiss someone?
A: It leads to hot sex.
My Kid: Mom, what does hot sex mean?
Q: Name something you would need if you were dating twin sisters.
My Kid: Mom, what’s Viagra?
Q: What’s something you wouldn’t do in front of your parents even if you were an adult?
A: Watch porn.
My Kid: Mom, what’s porn?
Q: One hundred women were surveyed and asked: What type of animal would your man want printed on his underpants because he thinks it most accurately describes his performance in bed?
A: A horse.
My Kid: Mom, why is everybody laughing? Why are you laughing? I don’t understand why that’s funny.
I totally remember watching Family Feud back when Richard Dawson was the host.
Even though I always thought it was
nauseating odd that he kissed every single stranger contestant on the lips, I definitely don’t remember the questions being unpolishedly hilarious so inappropriate for young kids. Do you?
2. I’ve Been Having A BLOGMANCE
It’s tough out there for us bloggers. We lay it on the line and don’t hold back. We try to articulate what we knowwwww you all think but wouldn’t dare say out loud. And why do we do it? Well, for various reasons but among them maybe just maybe we do it because one of our readers will relate to our stories and share it with others. Maybe someone will be bold enough to go out on an unpolished limb and LET US KNOW that we’re not alone in some of the fucked up shit we deal with.
I recently stumbled across my now blogmate’s blog called The Truth Hurvitz. Though we are in very different places (maritally speaking) I was blown away by her candor and willingness to put it all out there. I went into The Truth Hurvitz archives and as I read a bunch of her posts I knew right away this chick was cool and honest and wackkkkeddd and fucking unpolished! I reached out via email and applauded her.
It was love at first blog and we’ve been blogmancing ever since; So much so that I made up the word Blogmance and submitted it to my unpolished bible, The Urban Dictionary. Okay so it’s not The Wall Street Journal but they accepted the word and now it will forever be associated with Silver Unpolished and The Truth Hurvitz.
I know you’re supposed to take things slowly in the beginning of any relationship, but screw that! Life is short. When you know it’s right you gotta just go for it. Sometimes putting out pays off! You must, must, MUST check out Jen’s blog. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter and let her know you think she’s fab!
3. Speaking Of The WSJ….
After months and months and months of trying to coordinate a plan, I finally have a
night day, place and time to get together with an old troublemaker colleague from my days at Morgan Stanley. It will be a blast to drink up catch up and make sure neither of us have spilled trade secrets reminisce about those times. It’ll be a miracle if we don’t get arrested, drag race vintage corvettes or end up at a strip club great to have a cup of coffee and hear about the family. Good thing I have my lawyer a trusted friend on speed dial when just in case I get into a bind want to say hello.
4. Kindness Matters!
A few weeks ago I received a text message from my son’s teacher letting me know that my little first grader was presented with The Kind Kid Award. Considering the fact that his Mom (me) is
kinda very bitchy and that our family tree has more nuts than apples, this news made me very, very, verrryyyy proud! As a reward, I’m thinking about letting him watch an episode of Family Feud! Just because you’re kind doesn’t mean you can’t be unpolished, right? Maybe we should ask one hundred people! “SURVEY SAYS…..?????”
5. I’ve Eaten Everything & Anything That Hasn’t Been Nailed Down
I doubt this needs further clarification. Let’s just say November was a massive shit show of an eating festival and I was the lead freak at the carnival. You name it, I ate it. Veggie burgers? Not exactly. It was more like, where’s the beef???!!!
Got butter? You betcha!
< p>Carb loading? Ummmmm obviously, which is why I’m now carb bloating all over the place.
Alcohol? C’mon. You already know the answer to that one.
Today is December 1st. It’s a new month; A new start; A clean, fresh, new slate! If I write about it on the blog then I’m accountable.
If I get a friend to stay on track with me, it’s helpful. If I stay the hell out of the refrigerator and away from the pantry after dinner it will make me feel less like the unpolished, gluttonous goat I’ve become!
Strength in numbers people… Who’s with me?
WE can. WE will. Let’s go!
JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… December is gonna be an unpolishedly packed month. I have tonzzz of new stuff to post. I figure instead of parking myself at the kitchen table I’ll buckle down in my office and then I’ll eventually be able to buckle up my pants that currently don’t fit! Keep a lookout on social media for some of the upcoming unpolished blogs:
THE UNPOLISHED GIFT LIST
ALL BUCK NO BANG
SILVER TWIN POWERS… ACTIVATE! (Jan 2015)
DOCTOR DOUCHEBAG- (Jan 2015)
DOOMED IF YOU’RE NOT GROOMED… IT’S A HAIRY TOPIC (Jan 2015)
HIGHS & LOWS OF 2014
So until the next post… Ciao for now!