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Bubble Wrap: Snap; Crackle; POP NO MORE!

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photo credit: www.lzpfla.com

I love weird things and I love weird people and I love reading weird stories about weird people doing weird things.  That said, it shouldn’t surprise you that I religiously follow the Weird News section of The Huffington Post.

A week or so ago I read an article about Bubble Wrap.  I know, you love Bubble Wrap!  I love it too.  Who doesn’t?

But get this: The news about Bubble Wrap is disheartening.  Sealed Air, the makers of Bubble Wrap are rolling out a new version of Bubble Wrap called iBubble Wrap.

That’s cool, right?  WRONG!

The disheartening part of the story is that iBubble Wrap DOESN’T MAKE THE POP SOUND!

[Insert the GASP here!]

I’m so bummed.

This news makes me wanna throw my hands up in the air, wave them like I REALLY DO CARE and grab a piece of original Bubble Wrap so I can take out my frustrations!

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photo credit: www.lzpfla.com
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photo credit: www.lzpfla.com
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photo credit: www.lzpfla.com
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photo credit: www.lzpfla.com

I mean, think about it.  Bubble Wrap is so much more than just a protective material that keeps shit from breaking when it’s shipped from place to place.  Bubble Wrap is a chunk of our childhood!  For me, the thought of Bubble Wrap triggers memories of being a little kid.  I used to fight my way to be first at the door when the UPS man rang the bell so I could rip open the newly delivered box and take the Bubble Wrap before anyone else had a chance to get their hands on it.  I wanted the biggest piece so I could I make the loudest noise when I twisted it and turned it and stomped on the Bubble Wrap.  I used to wring the living crap out of the Bubble Wrap until there wasn’t one measly bubble left un-popped!  I’d practically strangle those poor bubbles to their death!

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photo credit: www.lzpfla.com

Don’t say you didn’t do it also; because you did.

WE ALL DID

And we loved bursting every bit of those damn bubbles!

iBubble Wrap is like having to watch TV with the mute button on.

iBubble Wrap is like having to order the grilled salmon with steamed broccoli for dinner when you really wanna sink your teeth into a juicy, rare cheeseburger with a side order of french fries.

Sure, iBubble Wrap will still get the job done by keeping your packages protected but so what?

Whoop-dee-effff’ing-doo.

All the fun’s gone.

At the end of the day, who wants to play with a quiet, boring, unresponsive piece of plastic that doesn’t do anything?

I don’t.  Do you?

In my unpolished opinion, iBubble Wrap sounds pretty lame.  Actually, it’s worse….. because it doesn’t sound at all!

“Can you hear me now?”  said iBubble Wrap.

Sadly, no I can’t… So that’s a wrap!

  JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… If you want to read the original article written by Ed Mazza in The Huffington Post,  CLICK HERE.

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4 responses to “Bubble Wrap: Snap; Crackle; POP NO MORE!

  1. We need to stock up on Original Bubble Wrap…this iBubblewrap is going to be a bust and we will have cornered the market for the original

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