When you’re certifiably
insane unpolished your personality can change on a dime. In a flip of a switch or a blink of an eye, your mood can go from crouching tiger to hidden dragon to flying like a butterfly to stinging like a bee to in like a lion to out like a lamb and back to in like a lion all over again.
A little shift here and there in one’s mental state is no big thang, but when you pause and reflect on the movements as a whole, it can seem like enormous tectonic plates have just erupted into a cranial earthquake of unpolished proportions!
Fully aware that my unpolished persona is packed with a plethora of personality peculiarities, I took a moment to think about my own unpredictable behaviors as of late.
BOY OH BOY OH BOY! Holy significant disparity Batman!
look read for yourself and see what a difference a week makes.
A Plethora of Unpolished Personalities Week In Review:
1. LAST WEEK I was all Let’s be grateful for what we have and not for what we don’t have. I was all Let’s get inspired by music and remember we’re only human. I was all Did you catch that blog I wrote, Music For The Mind? Christina Perri is amazing, isn’t she? Her lyrics are so moving. Who cares if we can’t get it done today; there’s always tomorrow! THIS WEEK I’m all Isn’t it ironic Alanis Morissette and all Michael Jackson Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough! I’m all Andrew Clark’s Dad in The Breakfast Club, “You’ve got to be number one! Your intensity is for shit! Win! Win!” I’m all We must stay focused and work hard and wake up early and go to bed late and pack in as much as we can in one day because if we don’t get it all done now, how on Earth will it ever get done?
2. LAST WEEK I was all Let’s sit on the couch and pick a movie we can watch together as a family. I was all Let’s learn some life lessons through football and baseball and be all Kevin Costner in Draft Day and Field of Dreams. I was all “If you build it… He will come.” THIS WEEK I’m all I wonder if there’s an adult version of that movie that I can watch alone. “If you DRILLED it…. He will cum.” This week I’m all I wonder if there’s even a sequel to the adult version. “If you THRILLED it…He will cum again!”
3. LAST WEEK I was all It‘s a new school year; Yay! We’re gonna do great and we’re gonna get our homework done right away and we’re gonna be accountable and have patience and we’re not gonna have a fist fight when it’s time to sit down and read a book. I was all School is sooo fun and it’s sooo cool to learn and your brain is like a sponge just waiting to absorb the knowledge. I was all Hey boys… What would you like me to make for lunch tomorrow so that your big, beautiful brains are nourished with food you enjoy? THIS WEEK I’m all Sit your asses down and read the damn books! I’m all Ugh, how many pages of math does your teacher want
me you to do? This week I’m all I SAID sit your asses down and read the damn books NOWWW! This week I’m all School fucking sucks and I despise making lunch.
4. LAST WEEK I was all Hi, it’s so nice to see you. Yes, I had a great summer; did you? I know, we should totally get together. Wow, you look amazing. I’d love to catch up. Sure. Yes. I’d love to. I was all Okay, call me. We’ll make a date. Yes, call me. I promise. I’ll look on my calendar. Lunch soon. I can’t wait! THIS WEEK I’m all Oh No. OH NOOO! Here she comes. Don’t look up. Don’t look up. Don’t make eye contact. Keep walking. Head down. She won’t see me. This week I’m all Do not pick up the phone. Don’t even think about picking up the phone. Oh thank God for caller ID. Whyyyy is she calling me? This week I’m all There’s not a shot in hell I’m making a plan with her!
5. LAST WEEK I was all Yoga is saving me. Yay for yoga! I was all I could move into this room and never leave. I was all Double yay for Namaste! Last week I was all
coo-coo for cocoa puffs bonkers for the buddha and all Oh sure you can put your mat down in front of me! Last week I was all I love it when you’re near me because you have such a beautiful practice and it’s truly inspiring to watch. THIS WEEK I’m all Did you seriously just park your shit directly in front of me when there’s an entire room full of empty space? Can’t you find your own spot? I’m all It’s so annoying you take every single chaturanga; don’t you know it’s optional? This week I’m all We know you can do the fucking handstand you show-off bitch! This week I’m all Nama-stay the hell away from me!
6. LAST WEEK I was all The Karate Kid is such a classic movie from 1984 and I still love Ralph Macchio as Daniel, the hero. THIS WEEK I’m all Wow, I can’t believe there’s a new conspiracy theory floating around arguing that Mr. Miyagi is a demon sorcerer and Daniel is a violent sociopath and the film’s true bully! CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO CLIP AND EXPLANATION OF PROOF.
7. LAST WEEK I was all Signing my son up for flag football is a great idea! As long as nobody gets tackled it will be a great way for him to get some exercise and learn the mechanics of the game at an early age. THIS WEEK I’m all Who’s the idiot that agreed to flag football? I’m all Ninety minute practices three times a week? Are you nuts? This week I’m all Please let South Florida stay in the cone for Tropical Storm Erika so we can skip tonight’s practice!
8. LAST WEEK I was all It’s a brand new day of a brand new week and I’m gonna eat clean and stick to the plan and eat clean and stick to the plan and blah blah. Blah blah blah. Click Here To Read How Well I Stick To The Plan. THIS WEEK I’m all The plan? What plan? There’s no plan. Ohhhh, THAT plan? Yeah, well I’m starting that plan NEXT WEEK!
JUST TO LET YOU KNOW…. I’ve consulted with all of my unpolished personalities and together we firmly agree some weeks we’re extroverted; other weeks we’re introverted. Some weeks we look you in straight in the eyes and smile and other weeks we run for the hills! The patterns of our erratic behavior often perplexes us; as we too have difficulty keeping track of our own unpolished moods! LAST WEEK’s tone was different from THIS WEEK’s temperament and I’m sure NEXT WEEK’s spirit will vary even more. At the end of the day or week for that matter we are who we are who we are and we are undoubtedly unpolished. That said, if you decide to take
some of us or leave some of us you’ll certainly have a plethora of unpolished personalities to pick and chose from!