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Say Anything: An Open Letter To The Fifty Year Old Facebook Fanatics

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JUST TO LET YOU KNOW…

I don’t want to come out of the gate swinging too aggressively but screw it, I’m gonna.

WTF is wrong with you?

Why do you feel the need to post every aspect of your seemingly perfect life all over the pages of Facebook? I don’t get it. You’re fifty not fifteen.  And even if you were fifteen, it would still be an issue. A big issue. To say the oversharing is excessive is putting it mildly and quite frankly, it’s not okay.

Every restaurant. Every meal.  Every workout to work off the every meal in every restaurant.  Every airport. Every seat on the airplane. Every cocktail you ordered in the seat on the airplane to every trip you’ve ever been on. Every hotel. Every pool. Every shopping spree. Every drink. Every blink. Every breath. Every pose with your tilted hip to the right, cocked head to the left,  pursing your lips like a duck before snapping that selfie.

Every everything.

Every single day!

You’re fifty not fifteen.

WTF is wrong with you?

Why the desire to constantly put your life on public display? Incessantly. I understand social media mania has taken over the world but isn’t there such a thing as boundaries? What is the motivation? I honestly want to know what kind of mindset a person must have who feels compelled to overshare. Where does the insecurity come from? Did you sit alone in the cafeteria throughout High School? Did your best friend go to the prom with the guy you secretly had a crush on? Did you get passed over for that promotion you worked so hard to earn at your first job out of college? Did someone you love hurt you so badly this is payback? Or are you just so incredibly narcissistic that you absolutely can’t help yourself?

The other day my Facebook feed was cluttered with a full blown photo shoot  of one of these fifty year old fanatics. She was somewhere off the Coast of Amalfi flaunting her new Louie Vuitton pocketbook for all to admire in skin tight jeans and breasts busting out of her barely there bustier. This picture was soon upstaged when followed by approximately seventy-two other [not so] humble solo shots in a teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy bikini.

Are you a model? Or do you just play one on TV Facebook?

Another diva devotee posts double digit photos every few hours of what is supposed to be a trip of a lifetime. How can you possibly be enjoying the moment if you are uploading photographs all day long and waiting with baited breath for clicks and comments from friends back home? Please explain.

Here’s a question: How come I never see anything philanthropic? Do you support any charities or give back to your local community? Do you volunteer at your kids’ schools and participate in the fundraisers? Do you ever feed the homeless or donate to those less taken with themselves? Where are the zillions of those photos?

Hmmm.

I know you think you are the envy of the town. I know you think everyone secretly wants to insert themselves into  your world and live vicariously through the forty-two thousand photos of you and only you strutting your stuff. But guess what? I have a little secret of my own I’m gonna [over]share.

THEY DON’T.

NO ONE CARES.

YOU RUINED IT.

We might have been interested at one point. And by might, I mean probably not; and by interested, I mean maybe one or two or a maximum of three beautifully landscaped views or an occasional group shot or something clever and unique to intrigue us as to where you are at a particular place or time. We might have cared at one point.

BUT YOU HAVE COMPLETELY RUINED IT.

COMPLETELY. 

AND NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.

NOT EVEN A LITTLE.

Actually, the only thing we’re all in agreement on is how utterly moronic you appear with each additional picture you post.

Newsflash: Your so-called friends are not commenting on your pictures but they are commenting behind your back! 

I thought it was high time you came out of the dark [room] and got the [literal] picture!

For the life of me, I can not believe your real friends have failed to mentioned this to you. I would never let any of my true friends embarrass themselves all over the Internet; I would SAY ANYTHING, anything at all to encourage some self restraint. Being unpolished is one thing, but being pathologically pathetic is another. You’re a grown woman for fuck’s sake so act like it.

You’re fifty not fifteen.

Silly rabbit habit, Trix pics are for kids!

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But even if you had a fifteen year old, or any year old, would you really condone this type of behavior? I bet not. At least I sure as hell hope not.

So for all those who won’t say anything, I just did.

You’re welcome.

Unpolishedly Yours,

Silver

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39 responses to “Say Anything: An Open Letter To The Fifty Year Old Facebook Fanatics

  1. OMG Rachel. I could read your shit every day and twice on Sunday! I’m so glad you can say so eloquently what most of us are thinking. Just love you. That’s all.

  2. Would love to share this one rachel!!!.. every time you write a piece I think it’s the best one yet.. but this one really is THE BEST one!!!! Great job!!!

  3. OMG this is the BEST. EVER. it’s like you tapped into my brain and read my thoughts only you’re brace & bold enough to write it!!! Wonder if I’m brace enough to share it ?! XO

  4. Omg! I couldn’t agree with you more Rachel!
    The posts lately are so obnoxious & sad that people need so much personal validation through social media to feel good about themselves. Very pathetic way to behave as a grown adult. Keep writing the things we all want to say!! Lol

  5. Wow! More vitriol – just what the world needs 🙄. I am imagining that you were not seeking any praise in writing this, right?

    1. @Laura, Nope. Don’t need any praise. My intentions for writing are never for praise. My intentions are to write what others think but don’t have the guts to say. Sometimes the truth is harsh, but it’s the truth nonetheless.

  6. And I was just about to post a few selfies in my bikini, but now I guess I won’t. NOT. lolololol. I call it “OPS, Over Posting Syndrome.” I thought I made that up. Love you! Brilliant!

  7. As long we are all being honest here…..It sounds like I hear the following from your blog. jealousy, a need to call out directly the 4 or 5people you are ” facebook friends” with who do this excessive posting so they defriend you instead of you just defriending them. I also see you selfishly looking to gain some infamy for stating this. Your odd blog has always been a cry for a “Look at me.” Take a deep look at the hypocrisy.

    1. @Laura, thanks for your honesty. If I dish it, I am happy to take it. While you are more than welcome to voice your opinion, you couldn’t be more off relative to my intentions. This topic is universal and not just confined to the small, local bubble that I assume you too, live in. The funny (or not so funny) irony is that my inbox has been blown up for months by people across the eastern seaboard and west to the Mississippi asking me to address this issue. I don’t urge anyone to ever “look at me” but those who do are just reminded that sometimes the truth is the truth is the truth. If you’ve read any of my posts, I am the first one to point out my faults,flaws and failures and own it fully. Feel free to read my “odd blog” or not. It makes absolutely no difference to me. Ciao.

  8. Hi
    Not sure if you were referring to me my name is Jamie kaplan and I was on the amalfi coast sorting a loud Vuitton bag. Sweetie I’m 59 and happy apparently if this is directed towards me please contact me directly as I am a loving wife mother and friend you sound pretty angry and seem to be a hater
    Please pm me so you can address this if it’s towards me
    Jamie kaplan
    50 and fabulous

    1. @Jamie, As mentioned below, the post is addressing a universal social media epidemic in various cities and towns across state lines. There are tenfolds of people who travel, eat, drink, shop, exercise and the like throughout the world, inclusive of Europe and also in their own local backyards. If you wish you to think this post was written specifically for you, that is on you, not me!

  9. I love this! I unfollowed someone because she constantly posted pictures of herself in the same pose and the same tilt to her head and only from the left. You nailed this!

  10. Rachel this one of the most inaccurate post I have ever read in my life. That mother you’re speaking about “You’re 50 not 15”, “fake model “, etc you spoke of happens to be a close family friend of mine since I was 8. That mother you spoke of is one of the best mothers on this planet. She always put her children first (always had food for everyone, made sure they had a great education, always pushed them to be the best they can be if you put your mind to it). Not only her children, she would always cater and help others at anytime. Oh and by the way don’t be mad because she’s beautiful at her age. So before you put blogs up please make sure you know real facts. Take this as constructive criticism. Have a great week.

    1. @Mike…. I love constructive criticism and welcome it tenfold. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, that’s what makes this world so great. However, for the umpteeth time, this article is addressing a universal topic and NOT centered on one woman who felt the need to decide and then share with my readers that it was targeting her, and solely her. The world is slightly bigger than just one woman!

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