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Mom, Can You Make Me Something To Eat?

What is it about this sentence that immediately makes my blood pressure go up? What is it about this seemingly simple ask that instantaneously triggers a visceral reaction much like nails on a chalkboard or the incessant annoyance that creeps in the second I hear landscapers turn on that damn leaf blower. “Dude, you’ve been … Continued

The Camp Shtick… Here We Go Again

Yup, here we go again.  ‘Tis the season for my new and improved unpolished camp shtick about the packing of the trunks and all the crap that I gotta do to get prepared for the big send-off. What?  You forgot about the original camp shtick blogs from last year?  Well have no fear, allow me … Continued

One Down… A LOT More To Go!

It’s Friday!  Major congrats to all the folks who sent their kids back to school this week. How’d your transition go?  I hope it was a little smoother than mine. Ready Or Not… Here They Come Initially, we started out great Monday morning.  Kids up, dressed, breakfast ingested (which never happened last year) and out … Continued

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID"… 34 Years Ago!

Saturday night I went out for dinner with a bunch of old friends.  After two scotches, a glass of Prosecco and a Corona, I announced that having just had my second and final phone call of the summer with my sleep-away camp kid, and hearing him say, “Ma you can ask me one more question, … Continued

A Day at the Zoo… Unpolished Style

[slideshow id=24] A day at the zoo for most people means exactly what it sounds like, a day at the zoo.  For my family, a day at the zoo means: let’s see if we can get there in one piece and then figure out how quickly we can get it all done. My kids are … Continued

Is This Assignment Meant For Him… Or Is It Meant For Me?

[slideshow id=22] Homework sucks.  School projects suck too.  Making sure your kids’ homework and school projects get done sucks the most. I used to listen to friends of mine complain about the heavy workload and the massive projects that were sent home from school on a regular basis.  They would carry on that the increased … Continued

Is School Out for the Summer Yet?

[slideshow id=21] I’M OVER THE BUS.  I’M SICK OF THE BOOKS.  THE BACKPACK ZIPPERS ARE ALL AMUCK THE FOLDERS STILL STUFFED WITH TONS OF CRAP ARE REALLY STARTING TO SUCK! I’VE HAD IT WITH THE STACKS OF PAPER, THE PROJECTS AND THE PLEAS FROM THE PTA  STOP ASKING ME FOR MONEY!  I WISH IT WOULD … Continued

A Word From Your Mutha

Sunday is Mother’s Day.  It’s the one day out of the year that us Moms get freed from slavery.  The oppressive [child] labor we’ve endured is recognized and we’re finally given a pat on the back for our tireless efforts.  The second I hear scurrying feet and louder than necessary voices at the crack of … Continued

Yo Mama!

[slideshow id=17] LISTEN UP PEOPLE, I NEED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THIS SUNDAY MAY 12TH IS A BIG DAY IN THE YEAR. THOU SHALT HONOR THY MOTHER WHOSE DEVOTION IS EXCEPTIONAL YOU MUST LIFT HER WHERE SHE BELONGS, HIGH UP ON THE PEDESTAL! BECAUSE SHE’S BASICALLY A SLAVE WHO DOES ALL THE WORK FOR FREE … Continued