A special friend reminded me that “there are no mistakes in life… only lessons.” Her advice couldn’t have come at a better time considering I recently made what felt like a mistake.
Sticks & Stones Blah Blah Blah… But Words? They Hurt Too
Last week my opinions on a specific subject directly hurt someone’s feelings. Badly. Although I wholeheartedly stand by my opinions on the matter, I never intended to cause such pain. Some people in this world may get pleasure by hurting others. That type of premeditated behavior is foreign to me and I do not identify with it. That is not who I am. I would never set out to intentionally hurt another person. In hindsight, if I had made smarter choices, I could have gotten my exact point(s) across without being so insensitive.
Mean What You Say And Say What You Mean
We live in a world where we are allowed (and encouraged) to speak our minds freely. We do not have to agree with everyone nor are we obligated to do so. However, maintaining a level of respect for people who have different opinions is essential.
The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. It is sometimes difficult to accept responsibility and admit to wrongdoing. Another good friend of mine reminded me that taking the high road may not feel good in the short run but in the long run it always pays off.
Forgot The Filter? Now Deal With The Consequences
When I recognized that I should have chosen to express myself more wisely, I knew I had to put on my big girl panties and take ownership. I had to because it felt really shitty to be the reason that somebody else felt really shitty!
Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner
It’s hard to forget the scene from the 1987 hit movie Dirty Dancing when Jerry Orbach’s character, Dr. Jake Houseman admits to Johnny Castle, played by Patrick Swayze that he made a mistake. At the end of the film he swallows his pride and says, “When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.”
If You Have To Eat Crow…
Owning a mistake can mean not just swallowing your pride but also letting go of your ego. (GULP!) If you have to eat crow and apologize for your poor judgement you might as well wash it down with a great glass of wine and a whopping piece of humble pie!
A Clear Case Of… Do As I Say, Not As I Do
We all know there is no handbook on how to be a good parent. We rely on our gut instincts and common sense and then cross our fingers that our actions prove we are positive role models for our children. Not a day goes by that I don’t pray to be able to live up to the expectations of what a good parent is supposed to be. When I make a mistake, I fall short of these expectations. In an effort to turn things around, I try to explain my shortcomings so that my kids can use these mistakes as a learning tool. Nobody is perfect, certainly not me. Sometimes I fail. I get it wrong. I fuck up. My children need to know that. I owe them honesty.
Going Back To Basics
I can’t rewind the clock and I can’t pretend my actions were not hurtful. I’ve given myself a well needed “time out” to revisit the basics and reflect inward. It’s not rocket science to be kind to others and to treat people the way you would like to be treated in return. We should never lose sight of how important it is to have compassion and respect. I hope to take what I have learned from this experience and grow. I can do better. I’m sure of it.
AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… As unpolished as I may be, I do believe from the bottom of my heart I am a person who has both compassion and respect for others. However, I am not above admitting that sometimes that isn’t enough. Perhaps in this instance, I was not very pretty, or very witty. I obviously went overboard with a whole lotta gritty!