Finally, after fourteen days without so much as a verbal peep, I finally spoke to my son Ben on the telephone. Yesterday I heard his voice with my own two ears and got the confirmation that he’s settled in and loving camp. His initial homesickness is so “two weeks ago,” and now we’re all about the great food, camp milkshakes, zip-lining, waterskiing and basketball.
Oh yes, basketball. Obviously.
After hearing it for myself, I was finally able to take a deep breath and relax with my obsessive worrying. ( i.e., Is he making friends? Is he sleeping well? Are his fingernails disgusting? ) I had been completely stress free for approximately twenty-nine hours and it felt great! I went to my Friday Vinyasa without any concern for his well being. After class, I looked at my phone, read the text message that was waiting for me and right away started worrying all over again.
Intellectually, I knew that the camp administration and the entire team of staff were armed and ready to handle homesickness. I knew they would be able to tackle transitioning the new, little kids into camp life. I knew that if anyone would be able to get Ben to adjust, it would be the counselors who apparently are “the fun-ist-cool-ist dudes.”
What I didn’t know (and still don’t) is how equipped they are to break the news to the Florida kids that their beloved Lord… Their Sir King James Ain’t No Longer Sittin’ On The SoBe Throne!
LeBron Is LeGone And I’m Worried LeBen Is Gonna LeFreak!
I don’t know about you, but I certainly remember seeing pictures on the Internet of sobbing, heartbroken and PISSED OFF young fans when LeBron left the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat in 2010.
Only minutes after receiving the text about LeBron, I heard Chris Bosh might be blasting off to the Rockets. Oh Phenomenal. That’s just great! The added salt should really help this open wound. Thank goodness now we know that’s not the case. As of this evening it’s been confirmed that Bosh landed himself a max contract (five-year, $118 million deal) to stay with the Miami Heat.
$$$ CHA-fucking-CHING $$$
So to “the fun-ist-cool-ist counselor dudes” and administrative team, I hope you’re in a Wi-Fi hotspot and you’re reading my blog……. I don’t know how many extra camp milkshakes it’s gonna take or whatever other tricks you may have up your sleeve, but I don’t envy you for a second! Best of luck breaking the news and calming my boy down. I’m thinking you may wanna reach out and call me when the dust settles so I know he hasn’t had a total nervous breakdown! If for no other reason, the fact that I won’t have to be the initial level-headed adult to rationalize this one out with my kid is worth the entire amount of camp tuition spent!
While the camp staff are hopefully using this NBA game changer as a learning tool for the campers to teach them not just about the physical game but also the philosophy about what goes on behind the scenes and to help explain the reasons (logically) for their decisions, I’ll be hightailing it to the nearest kids’ clothing store in town. Unfortunately, about eighty percent of Ben’s wardrobe is made up of LeBron James paraphernalia, so it seems I have a little shopping to do before Visiting Day next week!
JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… With LeBron James packing up his sunscreen and turning in his SunPass, and Chris Bosh’s ginormous pay raise, obviously that leaves us Miami fans uncertain about what’s in store for D. Wade. Some are saying Dwayne Wade played the fool according to an article I read earlier today on Forbes.com written by Chris Smith, “In order to help the team free up Miami’s cap space and help the team bring back James, Wade opted out of the last two years of his contract, giving up nearly $42 million in guaranteed money. But with James suddenly out the door, Wade’s sacrifice was for naught, and now he’s an ailing and aging star who can no longer play the role of franchise workhorse.”
Even if some of my unpolished peeps out there aren’t the biggest basketball fans, I’m sure you can understand what that means. However, we need not get out the violin for Mr. Wade just yet. Before Ben left for the summer, we were talking about the future of the Miami Heat franchise. Over the course of our conversation Ben randomly asked, “Hey Mom, do you think Dwayne Wade went to sleep away camp?” I couldn’t help but to chuckle. I replied, “Uhhhh, I’m gonna go with NO! He DID NOT go to sleep away camp!” My thought on the matter now is worst case scenario if Wade doesn’t get the attention he’s looking for, he can use some of the approximately $62 million he received during LeBron’s reign in Miami and put it towards sending himself to sleep away camp! At least then it won’t be a total waste. Maybe he’d even foot the bill to send both my kids to camp next year too!
2 responses to “LeBen Is Gonna LeBUGGGG That LeBron Is MIA from MIA”
Funny and clever! As usual….
Miami could be LeScrewed!!!