JUST TO LET YOU KNOW… A few weeks ago was Yom Kippur. The holiest day of the year for Jews. We take pause for an entire day and repent for our sins; an entire day to right our wrongs; or in my case to write my wrongs. It’s a long haul for most not just because we’re forced to examine all our fuck-ups over the course of the last twelve months collectively through an enormous magnifying glass, but the one-two punch also comes by way of starving ourselves while doing so. Hangry Jews admitting their guilt and shortcomings; if that ritual isn’t appealing enough, we get to underscore how much we miss our loved ones whom have passed away in the form of specific mourning prayers. It’s a jolly fun time.
Seeing as though the last several months of the year 2020 [and 5780] have been right on par with the joys of Yom Kippur, I personally think all of us inclusive of those who don’t observe Judaism should be given a pass for sideways behavior even if under any other circumstances prior to Covid-19 said behavior would have warranted repenting. I believe every one of us have had our fair share of resilience, resolve and mental fortitude tested beyond measure and frankly we all deserve God to say, “Hey, relax. If you’ve made it this far, you’re good. This year I got you.”
Though my sorry slate was wiped clean a few weeks ago, I’ve already racked up some new wrongs. Instead of waiting for them to pile up, I thought maybe if I [w]right them as I go it’ll be an easier way to stay on God’s good side.
So As I Write My [Unpolished] Wrongs… I’m Sorry. Not Sorry
- While Covid-19 did not lend itself to my making a traditional Kol Nidre dinner for family and friends in preparation for the Yom Kippur fast, I did have a beautiful meal nonetheless. Should I be sorry the meal was an eel hand roll and fresh slices of sashimi instead of roasted chicken and fresh challah? For that, nope. I am not sorry.
- While Covid-19 also did not lend itself to my attending Yom Kippur services in person, I did make it my religious duty to follow along via live stream on my iPhone. Should I be sorry for doing so while on the elliptical machine in my garage? For that too, nah. I am not sorry.
- Over the course of the last year I have publicly frowned upon the invention of Venmo. I didn’t understand it; I thought it was unnecessary and I figured it was just another way to open myself [and my bank account] up to cyber attacks. Should I be sorry to any of my friends whom I might have given a hard time about Venmo? For that, YES! Yes I should be sorry. I’m so sorry! Venmo is better than sushi on Kol Nidre or watching Yom Kippur services while on the elliptical! I’m sorry for what I did wrong! I’m sorry; I’m sorry; I’m sorry!
- What I’m not sorry about however, is my firm stance on why Venmo users don’t make their transactions private. Why do I need to know that Susie paid Sally $50 for the ? or that Mary paid Melissa $45 for Mikey’s ⚽️ lesson or Allie paid Angie $100 for her share in the group ? . So what was the gift? Actually, don’t tell me. It really doesn’t matter.
- We all know Covid-19 has put a huge damper on social gatherings. Gone are the days of big bashes to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and/or bar and bat mitzvahs. It seems in lieu of hosting a super-spreader extravaganza, one can still memorialize milestones by taking a more creative and Covid compliant approach. One such approach comes in the form of video tributes. Invitees receive an email from the ‘host’ with a request to click a link and record a video message sending their well wishes to the guest(s) of honor. After everyone submits their clips, a sentimental montage is created and saved for perpetuity. It’s virtually the best way to make your loved one(s) feel all the feels from afar. After being an invitee on several videos over the past eight months and admittedly waiting until the last possible second to submit my celebratory cheer, I recently put myself in charge of facilitating a new tribute. As the ‘host,’ I became a drill sergeant to many friends and family members as my subtle nudging quickly turned into an obsessive insistence that the invitees submit their clips
NOWWWWas soon as possible. To any of the previous tribute hosts whom invited me to participate in your loved one’s meaningful video and I completely ignored it until an email arrived indicating my delinquent status due to my missing the deadline, I AM SORRY!!!!!! Now that I’ve been on the receiving end, I know how frustrating it is to wait for the videos to pile in. I’m sorry it took me so long! I give you my word I’ll never blow off another request; as a matter of fact I’ll be the first one to turn it around and submit!
- To those whom insisted I should have watched Schitt’s Creek back in 2015 but instead I gave them my own schitt as an excuse as to why I couldn’t-shouldn’t-wouldn’t watch, am I sorry? YESSSSSSS. Undoubtedly so. While I did start the series way back when, I must have fallen out due to the more alluring seduction of darker shows like House of Cards and The Handmaid’s Tale. Seeing as though we are now sadly and strangely living in our own warped rendition of both House of Cards and The Handmaid’s Tale, I have warmly welcomed Schitt’s Creek into my television watching repertoire. It’s been nothing short of a saving
Davidgrace to have guaranteed laughs at a time laughter is a mandate. I’m sorry I was so late to the game, but now I’m not sorry at all to have it when I really need it most. If you want some DAVID CLICK HERE & if you want A Little Bit Alexis CLICK HERE.
Sorry. Not Sorry.
11 responses to “WRITING MY [UNPOLISHED] WRONGS: SORRY. NOT SORRY”
this was hilarious and perfect!!!! ?
Love your writing!!!!
Spot on as always
Beyond! So great and so true! You nailed it as always! Love
Once again Tiny, you nailed it. Dad
Just the pick me up I needed…very funny as usual
I accept your apology on Schit’s Creek
Fabulous! Spot on! Accepting your Venmo apology lol
Love you! ?
Love it! You’ve inspired me to be sorry, not sorry!!!! XOXO
AND I’M SORRY that I didn’t like Schitt’s Creek. Should we try again??